Finding purpose without pressure

We all want to see our children thrive, not only in their education and their future career, but in living a fulfilling and meaningful life as well. Part of this comes from having a sense of purpose — something that motivates and inspires our children beyond external rewards or influence.

While we should not expect a young person to have their purpose figured out before they reach adulthood, it is always worth encouraging children to stay curious about what most inspires and motivates them. To give them the freedom to explore, to try out new experiences, to build their skills and nurture their passions. It is through this environment that those early seeds of purpose can really start to take shape.

What defines a purpose?

A purpose is the driving force that gives meaning to our actions. It is what makes us feel like we are contributing something valuable to the world and helps us to find meaning and motivation in life’s experiences.

A purpose can be tied to our careers, personal relationships, community, creative projects, or our own personal growth. It is less about achieving certain goals and more about the deeper reasons behind why we do what we do. For children, purpose can manifest as feelings or actions like curiosity, a desire to help others, or a passion for learning.

What kinds of purposes are there in life?

We can find purpose in many areas of our lives. Some of us discover purpose through our careers, while others might feel most fulfilled by their personal relationships, creative pursuits, or contributing to social causes and the broader community. Each purpose is as unique as the individual themselves.

Purposes are not limited to one aspect of life, either. A person can find meaning in multiple areas at once, like being passionate about their career while also finding purpose in being a parent or volunteering for a cause they care about. For young people, their purpose is often to make sense of the world and understand that what inspires and drives them can change as they grow.

How parents can encourage children to find their purpose

Parents can encourage their children to find their purpose without explicitly referring to this concept. Exploration and openness to new experiences are what is most essential for a young person, as this helps them develop a sense of identity, resilience and motivation. It also helps children to start making choices based on what feels meaningful to them as growing individuals, rather than what is expected by society.

Neringa recommends parents encourage this exploration “by allowing and encouraging curiosity and asking open ended questions. In doing so, it is useful for parents to be aware of their own experiences of purpose and how these may influence their pre-determined ideas.”

While it is ok to want your children to succeed, it is equally as important to avoid projecting your own desires and ambitions onto them. Every child is unique, with their own talents, interests and values. To support their search for purpose, listen to their interests and encourage exploration without judgment or expectation. The goal is to create a safe space for them to explore, fail and grow without pressure to meet specific outcomes.

Exploring purpose beyond natural talents

Purpose is not necessarily connected to the things we are naturally good at, but rather what challenges us, pushes us to grow and inspires us to make the most of each day.

Encouraging children to explore areas outside of their comfort zones or natural talents can help them discover new passions, which could connect them to a deeper sense of purpose as they grow through life. This can also teach them that failure is part of growth, or that they can find purpose in perseverance and improvement.

How the digital age has influenced how we explore purpose

The digital age has had both positive and negative effects on how children explore and navigate the world, which could in turn shape their purpose at an older age. On the positive side, having instant access to an endless supply of information and communities online can inspire children to explore new ideas, learn about causes or interests they might not have encountered yet and ultimately connect with like-minded individuals when they are old enough to do so.

On the other hand, the constant noise and comparison that comes with social media can create distractions or potentially feelings of inadequacy, which may make it harder for children to stay focused on what truly matters to them. It is important for parents to help their children strike a balance between using digital tools for discovery and not becoming overwhelmed by the pressures that can come with them.

How Haileybury fosters curiosity and discovery

The years a young person spends at school are some of the most formative of their entire lives. Every new experience or opportunity they are offered during this time opens their mind to another pathway of possibility.

At Haileybury, we endeavour to give children as many opportunities as possible to discover what motivates and excites them. This could in turn help shape their purpose in adulthood. Our academic program is balanced by a broad range of co-curricular and extra-curricular activities, including music, drama, sport, art, social justice, volunteering, travel and so much more. Together, they provide students with plenty of possibilities to ignite their curiosity and explore their passions.

When it comes to supporting your child to explore their purpose, it is not about pushing them towards a specific outcome. It is encouraging their curiosity, supporting their interests and giving them the space to grow into the person they are destined to be.